ugly people sure do ruin things
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
