Little spoons don't ask big questions
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
