i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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