im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
