I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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