even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize