Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
