I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
