You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
