Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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