Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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