just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
