I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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