Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
