Sry I called you an 8
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
