You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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