I was born with a shot glass in my hand
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
