You're my little dorito
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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