its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
