new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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