He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
