I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
