someone get that fucking seahorse.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
