why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
