$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
tonight lets celebrate not being married
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize