sarcasm needs its own font
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
