Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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