At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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