Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize