The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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