This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
