try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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