did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
