i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
