They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
there is glitter all over my balls
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