She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
