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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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