"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think people are normalizing furries
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
