Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
