i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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