I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
smell my finger.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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