she was so not down for the gang bang
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
