We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Every concussion has its silver lining
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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