i'm signing you up for texting rehab
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
