bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
