I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
