You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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