Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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