You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
