Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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