Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize