I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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