it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
