Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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