I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
