we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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