$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
