My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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