This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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