Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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